I missed lifting at 75% of my 1RM Deadlift today. I missed it hard.
Today’s workout was a 5 minutes long starting with a 400m run followed up by a max rep effort at either 155 or 205 pounds. My last PR on my deadlift was around 285 pounds. It was a solid lift, I used a belt - but it came up pretty easily. Granted, this was months ago now and it was coming off a strength cycle.
I thought for sure I could nail 205 pounds during my max effort DL. WRONG. I ended up dropping down to 155 after warming up and struggling to get 195 off the ground. My back was rounding, my grip was loosening, and my quads were rejecting my efforts.
I wanted to cry honestly.
I should add that I had had to identify myself in a weight group and had cockily strutted out around the 215 club thinking that I could nail it. This compounded my sense of shame at missing.
As much as lifting heavy makes me feel so strong, it has such a negative emotional impact when I miss my favorite lifts. I know as I coach I’d tell my athlete that on any given day, you cannot reproduce your 1RMs. There are so many factors that impact your ability to bring your A game (#blametequila) but today I took the miss hard.
I talked to my good friend Daniel and former training partner and basically, workout inspiration afterwards. He reminded me that I haven’t been lifting 4 - 5 days a week like I was, that I am now spending more time working on my endurance and less on my strength. I know this in my rational brain - but in my heart, I am still gutted.
The deadlift is my lift. I always felt my body was made for this lift - quad dominant, strong base (aka big feet), solid but flexible core, and just brute determination. Today I was humbled. Ha.
It is true that missing a lift sucks, and it sucks hard.
It is also true that my focus around fitness has not been on strength but on endurance as I start ramping up my training towards my first half marathon and also my first tri.
But somehow I just don’t care - I want my deadlift to be there waiting for me whenever I need it.
I don’t have any wisdom to share on this - but I think it’s important to know that even our favorite lifts leave us from time to time, and it hurts.